This is a big week for tech geeks everywhere, as the 2016 Consumer Electronics Show (CES) is underway in Las Vegas. For the unaware, CES is the biggest technology conference of the year. At the show, the world’s most talked about tech innovations are revealed each year, and this year is no different. The creations debuted at CES are almost always incredible and exciting to behold, but more importantly, they are typically designed to make our lives easier.
So far this week, some of the news out of CES has been quite cool, like this crazy piece of sorcery that analyzes the nutritional information in your food. As always, there are a few more unusual ideas. Actually, “unusual” is a nice word for some of these products. Let’s go with “pointless” instead. Here is a selection of the most pointless inventions that have already been unveiled this week.
This is a little robot that rolls around your house and projects images on your walls. It won’t vacuum your floor or make coffee or do any of the things robots should absolutely be doing in 2016. It just rolls around being a robot. It can show you tweets while you’re too busy doing something else to open twitter with your own two hands. This robot is expected to cost up to $2000. Taping an iPad to a Roomba is free.
It’s a thermometer. It takes your temperature. This is technology that has literally existed for hundreds of years. The twist is that this thermometer also has Wi-Fi so you can presumably share your fever as a Facebook status in order to garner some extra sympathy from your friends. Remember when the smartest Americans dedicated their resources to sending people to the moon?
Riding a skateboard is good exercise and makes you look relatively cool. This year, one tech company has managed to remove both of those components from skating by introducing the remote-controlled Blink-Board. It looks like a skateboard, but you just stand on it and push a button to get going. With a top speed of 12mph, you might arrive at your destination a little quicker than you would on a traditional skateboard, but your dignity will get left behind.
A long time ago, someone decided to do something about the issue of cold feet, thus socks were born. For the last couple of centuries, the world has been doing fairly well with the same old socks. If it’s super cold out, throw on two pairs and you’re all set. Now we live in a world where people feel the need to waste their time solving problems that don’t really exist. This is how we ended up with smart shoes. These shoes have heaters that are controlled with your phone. That is literally it. For a mere $450 you can heat up your toes to a comfortable 110 degrees. $450 would buy you a whole lot of socks.
Holding a camera is hard sometimes. It can be a pain to try to capture the perfect selfie when your hands are otherwise occupied with unimportant tasks like driving a car. Traditional selfie sticks are awkward to use and banned from many public venues. Here is the solution to all your most pressing problems. The Pic selfie stick isn’t just any overpriced narcissism-enabler. This is a selfie stick that you can wear on your wrist, wrap around your bike’s handlebars, or attach to the squat rack to get that perfect gym selfie. It’s great to live in the future.
As CES stretches on for the remainder of the week, there will surely be a lot more exciting announcements coming out of Vegas. This list is probably only scratching the surface of useless ideas that we’ll be hearing about.