There are a lot of terrible things in this world that make life miserable for so many of us. Humanity has long been plagued by disease, poverty and senseless tragedy — all of which are not fun … but not necessarily the worst things ever. Based on a highly classified and extremely scientific process, the research team here at Void HQ has compiled a list of the actual worst things ever. You can’t argue with our science.
When you’re desperately out of gas and in a hurry to get somewhere but you pull into the gas station to find that everyone has parked their cars in front of the pumps to go inside and buy snacks. The only reasonable solution to this is to wait by their car for them to return, then knock their stupid slurpee out of their hands while looking them right in the eyes.
When you wake up a little hungover on a Sunday morning and you just want to lay in bed for awhile with the TV on but every single channel is broadcasting those shouty preachers demanding your money. Do those guys even realize how loud they are? Jesus would probably want them to chill out a bit.
Cilantro. Seriously, cilantro should not exist at all, let alone be sprinkled all over your tacos. You have to sit there for several minutes picking nasty dish soap-tasting BS plants off your food before you can even enjoy it, thus negating all of the inherent joy of tacos. People who claim to like cilantro are liars and should not be trusted.
Minding your own business out in public and having some random stranger tell you to smile because, “You’d be so much prettier if you smiled.” There is an entire level of hell specifically dedicated to these people, where they will spend all of eternity being forced to smile until their faces fall off.
Wearing glasses and having every person you meet ask to try them on “to see how blind you really are.” Just … don’t.
Waiting impatiently for a text from a certain someone and your excitement spikes as you hear your phone jingle, but it’s just your mom. Mom’s been hitting Facebook too hard and wants to know what a dank meme is. You regret teaching her how to text.
The misery of life on Earth seems never-ending, but at least our human suffering is a shared experience. Today, go out of your way to be nice to a fellow person. Try not driving badly, not asking stupid questions and not injecting your unwanted opinions into other people’s lives. Together, we can make the world a less crappy place.