A properly smoked brisket is a work of art, and doing it right can be tricky, but not impossible.

Go to a legit butcher shop and get a fatass, untrimmed brisket. Quality is key here, which is why you need to get this from a butcher shop and not your run-of-the-mill grocery store.

Once you have a solid 10 to 20-pound brisket, take it out and rinse it with some warm water, pat it dry and place it on a bigass cutting board.

So, now you’re sitting here staring at this colossal slab of beef and thinking, “What the hell have I gotten myself into.” Well buck up, and don’t be intimidated by a piece of delicious dead cow.

Now that your confidence is restored, and you’re done being a little wuss, it’s time to start prepping the brisket. Remove any loose pieces of meat or fat with a nice carving knife – not some Farberware piece of crap you got for $2 at Walmart.

Next, you’ll need to rub that bad boy down with some good ole dry rub. Don’t fear touching your meat here. Roll those sleeves up and get in there nice and deep like. A nice basic dry rub should include:

  • 2 tablespoons kosher salt

  • 2 teaspoons coarse black pepper

  • 2 teaspoons paprika

  • 1 teaspoon oregano

  • 1/2 teaspoon ground cumin

  • 1 teaspoon garlic powder

With your meat rubbed down, wrap it up in some aluminum foil and put it in your fridge until tomorrow. Before you smoke it, your brisket needs time to rest and become infused with the spices, so get away from your damn fridge and leave your meat alone.

Flash forward to the next day. Congratulate yourself for not touching your meat for eight hours and get ready to start smoking it.

Now you need to prep the smoker. If you have a gas grill, put that shit out by the curb with a sign on it that reads, “Free to good home. I am useless,” because gas grills are terrible and you need charcoal to do this the right way.

The key here is keeping your smoker at 225 degrees for a little over an hour per pound. Fill your grill’s firebox with some decent charcoal and keep a charcoal chimney on hand for when it gets low.

For the actual smoking portion, you want to add some bigass chips or chunks of hickory or oak during the initial stages of your cooking. Put these on top of your charcoal and keep adding more as it burns down for the first few hours.

Then, go get the brisket out of the fridge and unwrap that rascal. Place your brisket fat side up on the grill.

This is a good time to take a step back and grab a nice cold beer, but put that damn light beer back in the trash where it belongs and make sure the next beer you grab is something of decent quality. In fact, get yourself a stout or porter. You’ll want to then add some oil and your dry rub spices with your beer into a bowl and mop the meat with this mixture when you rotate it.

After enjoying some sips of your well-deserved beer, you’re probably gonna start fretting about when you should flip that fatass hunk of beef. Don’t. You should only rotate it about every two hours.

Once you’ve reached the total time per pound, check the internal temperature to see if it is at about 180. If so, remove it from the smoker as it reaches the 190 mark and wrap the brisket in aluminum foil.

Next you will want to take your wrapped meat and stick it in a cooler for 30 minutes to allow the meat to rest. Even better, wrap it in a towel and foil to keep it hotter. Congratulations you meat-smoking bastard. You just cooked one of the best-tasting cuts of beef around.

Remove from cooler, and slice the brisket into thin strips, starting by cutting back the fat on top, and working from the thinner end of the brisket to the fatter end.

Tell your friends and family to enjoy, but keep that A1 sauce away from your perfect brisket or they can have microwave meatloaf instead.

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