One way or another, even if you heed important advice, you will find yourself hungover one day. If you drink alcohol, this is an inevitable consequence. Since Void cares so deeply for all of our readers, we like to do our best to improve your lives in any way we can. We’ve already learned how to avoid hangovers and how to survive them when they hit you hard on the weekend. But what if you have a little too much fun on a Tuesday night? You can’t just lie on the bathroom floor all day, moaning and drinking Pedialyte. You’re a responsible adult! You have important grown-up things to attend to.


In the event that you must go to work after a long night of careless binge drinking, you need to be careful to appear as though you were sleeping soundly in your bed at 1 a.m., and not downing PBRs at a dive bar.

The first and most crucial step is to be on time. Let me repeat, BE. ON. TIME. There are very few valid excuses to be late to work (or to anything) and being hungover is not one of them. Unless a Sharknado has descended upon your house or there is a large family of geese crossing the road very slowly in front of your car, you should always be on time to work. Being late not only makes you kind of an asshole but it also raises suspicions that you are not entirely on your game today. The key to being hungover at work is not to let on that you’re secretly a mess of a person.

After you wake up on time, chug a lot of water followed by a lot of coffee. You’ll need all the caffeine you can get, even if you’re not normally a coffee person (if you don’t drink coffee — what’s wrong with you?). After you have properly hydrated, you must make a serious effort to look and smell presentable. Shower if you have the time, but if you’re in a hurry, do what you can with the miracle that is dry shampoo. It’ll assist with that smoky bar aroma that clings to your hair after a night out.


A big mistake that many hangover sufferers make is sleeping too late and trying to get dressed quickly. Take an extra minute to dress yourself very carefully. If your brain function is iffy and you are rushing, you will end up wearing your shirt backwards or putting on shoes that don’t match. There is no surer sign of an irresponsible party animal than screwing up one of the world’s simplest tasks. If you button your shirt all wonky or inadvertently put on pants that don’t fit in with your office dress code, you might as well bear a giant banner that announces “I MAKE POOR DECISIONS.”

There’s an old adage passed down through the generations that advises people not to dress for the job that they have but for the job that they want. This absolutely applies in a situation like this. Don’t dress how you feel, but dress how you want people to view you. It can be tempting to put zero effort into your appearance when you feel terrible, but it’s important to project an image that says you have your s**t together. Put on makeup too if that’s your thing. Nothing shouts “I have total control over my life” quite like a woman with sharp winged eyeliner. If anyone begins to catch on, just point to your face and ask them, “could I have drawn these impeccable lines if I was hungover?” It isn’t an easy feat, but you can hide even your deepest flaws behind the mask of good eyeliner. Use it to your advantage.


Appearance is 80 percent of the battle. The rest, of course, is actual work. When you feel like death and your brain is aching to escape from your skull, you definitely won’t be able to fully focus on those TPS reports. You need to at least look like you’re busy. Don’t crawl under your desk for a nap, don’t sit in the bathroom replaying your friends’ Snapchat stories from last night while you cringe at your drunk self. Maybe take a quick scroll through Facebook to untag any unflattering photos.

Otherwise, open a few Google Docs and spreadsheets and start typing away. It doesn’t really matter what you type — challenge yourself to transcribe the entire script of Ghostbusters from memory, write your therapist an email about your feelings or just type Lorem Ipsum over and over. The important thing is that you are hunched over your computer typing up a storm. If anyone walks by, you appear to be getting some serious work done. If anyone asks you to perform a real task, you are just way too swamped right now, sorry!


If you chose a dumb career path like journalism and you have real deadlines to conquer, this would be a perfect time for your computer to be consumed by a nasty virus. Even better, but riskier, find out where the office’s Wi-Fi router is located and turn it off. It will throw everyone into a state of intense chaos but it will take ages for someone to figure out what happened. By then, you’ll hopefully have wasted enough time to either get some mediocre work done while they were panicking or you’ll have a great excuse for why you didn’t get anything done.

Keep your head down all day. Don’t draw attention to yourself, don’t engage in any unnecessary conversation, and certainly keep your agonized groaning to a minimum. If you have inconsiderate coworkers who insist on inflicting their terrible musical taste on everyone or enjoy blowing a celebratory horn to mark their personal achievements (commonplace in the Void office), you have two options. You could kindly explain to them that you have a gluten-induced migraine from irresponsibly indulging in some pasta last night, and see if they’ll keep their noise to a minimum. Everybody knows that gluten is one of society’s greatest evils, and they won’t argue with you.

The second option is to suck it up and pretend everything is fine. You’re probably used to doing this most days anyway. If you were getting trashed on a weekday your life is almost definitely a dumpster fire and you’re barely holding it together as it is. Good job, keep up the façade!

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If all goes according to plan and you keep drinking water and typing, the day will finally come to an end without anyone noticing what a garbage person you are. Then you can go home and collapse on the floor knowing that your boss was likely impressed by your focus and dedication today. Congratulations!