Craigslist occasionally has some great listings, but most of the time, it feels like the Walmart of the internet. Here’s a look at some of the fine products on the Jacksonville Craigslist at this very moment. Get your wallet ready.

dirt CL

Seems legit.

Free Dirt

There are always a few listings for free raw materials like dirt or wood, but this one seems special. A swing by the Westside can land you a “Free truck load of dirt.” A whole truckload just sitting in the backyard? On my way.

stone cold CL

Still in the box?! NRFB

Stone Cold Sound Bank

Looking to relive the glory days of WWF? A crisp $20 bill can make you the proud owner of this Stone Cold Steve Austin coin bank. I know where I’m putting my money now. What’s even better? There are sound effects when you drop in a coin. I assume it cusses you out and tells you how weak you are.

Road tested

Road-tested and ready.

Traffic Cones

Ten orange traffic cones for just $75? Bargain. Ignore the dirt and tire marks on these cones, it just means they’re road-tested, seller-approved. Conveniently located off Philips Highway, where they definitely weren’t picked up from a construction zone, this seller can also hook you up with gas cans and used tennis balls. Did somebody say bundle deal?

tats CL

Nothing says forever like a bartered tattoo.

Tats for Trades

Regretful tattoos happen, and bad ones shouldn’t — but they do. Luckily, one Westside shop is offering cover-ups and “master peaces” to hide that late-night, poor decision. Tattoos can be expensive though, so this place is open to bartering. I wonder what a Steve Austin sound bank could get me?

hooters CL

Future Tinder profile pic?

Man Cave Goals

Looking to ensure a woman never again steps foot in your man cave? For the low price of $400, buyers can score a collection of Hooters swag. Now you can up your attire game with shirts, hats, shoestrings and lanyards. Plus, get promo posters, magazines (never used according to the seller  ಠ_ಠ  ), bar stools, menus and plaques. The red flags will never fly higher on the first date.