Humankind has accomplished so many incredible things in the realm of mobile technology, and as a result, our lives are now mostly centered around the apps that live on our phones. Unfortunately, this means that in this absolute calamity of a year 2016, our presidential candidates have felt the need to release their own mobile apps.

This is the brave new world we’ve built for ourselves, and now we must live with the consequences.

Donald Trump launched his app last week in an uncharacteristically quiet manner with no big statements or press releases. You can find the app, called “America First” in the Apple or Google app stores. The whole thing is pretty uninspired, and basically just exists to convince people to watch and share Trump advertisements. Users can earn “action points” based on the stuff they do within the app, like sharing links on social networks, watching his TV ads and donating to the campaign. So much fun. It’s unclear what you’re supposed to do with these points once you’ve earned them. Maybe action points are like those participation trophies that older people are always whining about.

Some have already pointed out that the Trump app is a clone of the one released by former candidate Ted Cruz a few months ago, when the world was a much different place. It was created by the same company, and they clearly put the absolute minimum amount of effort into customizing it for Trump’s campaign.


I have an app — it’s so big, you’ve never seen an app like it! Ted Cruz? He never had an app like this! Lyin’ Ted … Sad! My app — it’s an app! We got one!

Never one to be out of touch with the kids, Hillary Clinton also has her own app. Her campaign sort of put some effort into it, at least they started to before they seemingly forgot about it and inadvertently released it back in July. Hers is more of a game, in the loosest sense of the word. In it, you are given a virtual office space, which you can redecorate with various lamps and chairs. That’s pretty much it. You can earn points and buy yourself a new desk lamp, and you can pledge to vote Hillary in November. What a thrill. You would think someone who is so “hip” and “totes down with the millennial lifestyle” would have thought up something her fans might actually want to use.

At least the server will never go down

Let’s hope that this whole political campaign promotion app concept doesn’t take off, and we can all just quietly pretend that this never happened.