Dating is not the same as it used to be. Most of us are probably swiping like crazy on Tinder or spending too many nights in hazy bars looking for people to go home with. Casual hookups are all the rage these days. There’s certainly nothing wrong with having a little fun without the feelings and the commitment. But shouldn’t we at least retain some amount of politeness? Even if society’s collective moral compass has been completely warped beyond recognition, politeness is always relevant. Just because you’re using someone for a single night of pleasure doesn’t mean you have to act like a douche about the whole thing.
If you go out with someone and you didn’t have a great time, don’t pretend you did. It will only make things more awkward if you act like you had an awesome night and you talk about doing it again when you definitely have no intention of following through. Just be f***ing honest. It might not be what your date wants to hear at the moment, but it will save you both some stress later after you’ve led them on and they’re wondering why you seem so hesitant to set a second date.
The proper thing to do after a one-night stand in which you’re certain you do not want to see the other person again is to thank them for their time, remind them that it was just a hookup, and make sure they’re not left anticipating another date. Do not leave them with any false hope!
If you hooked up with someone and you decide you do want to see them again, the rules are similar. Thank them for a good night and then say something along the lines of, “I know this was just meant to be a casual hookup, but I’d love to do it again sometime.” Remember that your partner may not want another round, so your results may vary with this option. If they don’t seem into it, don’t push the issue … just let it go.
We all need to step up our texting game as well. Whether you’re dealing with casual hookups or something a bit more substantial, this business of waiting so many hours or days before you text someone back is bullsh*t. You’re not desperate, you’re just being stupid.
If a guy or girl texts you and you are interested in them, just text back as soon as you can. Even if you are not interested in them, it’s still a good idea to text them back and actually let them know that you’re not feeling it. Leaving someone hanging is not chill — everyone can probably relate.
In the end, it all comes down to being nice. Someone was nice enough (or drunk enough) to spend time with you and the least you can do is repay them with a little bit of basic human decency. Perhaps you could even offer to buy them a Gatorade the next morning? Just try to not be a d***.