This might be taboo to talk about since admitting you are attracted to cartoons might sound creepy, but a quick poll around the Void office, and I found out I am not alone. I am sure, like me, you found yourself watching your favorite cartoons, spending a little too much time focusing on a particular character. Maybe you wanted to be them, or maybe you wanted to be on them … either way, don’t be ashamed of your cartoon crush. Let’s be real. If any character on this list came to life I would have totally shared my Capri Sun with them.
Shang was a different kind of Disney prince. He was a stoic, tough and unobtainable. His song montage of making Mulan into a man made me want to join the Chinese military. Well, that and his chiseled body and man bun. When he spares Mulan’s life after discovering she was a woman, and you find out he’s actually a big softy, swoooooon.
Okay so technically “As Told by Ginger” aired in October of 2000, but I can’t not mention her on this list because I love this red-head. Ginger was the ultimate good girl. She wouldn’t even shave her legs despite middle schools pressure. She was adorable with her red curls, raspy voice and teen angst that only her diary could understand.
Mr. Nice Guy, football head, short man, whatever you want to call him Arnold was the best. He was always helping his family, his friends even his enemies. Despite his odd-shaped head and his shirt and skirt ensemble, Arnold made all of our hearts melt like a Popsicle.
I always understood Doug’s mayonnaise fever. Patty was a sweetheart. There was something about that voice (actresses Constance Shulman or Yoga Jones on OITNB) and those golden waves. She was often portrayed as a damsel in distress in Doug’s fantasies such as Quailman. I always imagined rescuing Patti and taking her to the Honkerburger for fries.
I realize Rocko is especially weird to crush on because he is also an animal. But before Micael Cera and Jesse Eisenberg, he was the first awkward guy. Rocko was a neurotic weirdo who had a fear of everything but I always wanted to squeeze that cute little wallaby.
This Native American princess gave me serious hair envy and had me begging my mom to let me get a raccoon. Pocahontas was the girl of my dreams. I fell in love with this compassionate and beautiful adventurer. Especially at the end when she throws herself over John Smith and sacrifices her life in a grand gesture of love, total badass.
Edd (Double D)
Another adorable awkward guy, I guess I have a type. There was something always so mysterious about Double D, because he would never take his beanie off. The episode where everyone tries to take off his hat and they reveal his head at the end but not to the audience had me freaking out for weeks.
So it may not be cool to like this high-strung nerd, but I always thought she was a cutie. Clearly from this list I had a thing for girls with raspy voices, but I think it was always Lisa’s saxophone that did it for me. She was so good on that thing it made me want to join a jazz band just to impress her.
Many of these characters sparked our sexual awakening and for that, we say thank you. Any of these cartoons would have been just as appealing in real life. Head to YouTube and check out some of your old favorites for a trip down memory lane.