I can’t lie. The business ideas you’re about to read are nothing short of absolutely ridiculous. A dedicated local bagel shop? An alcohol-fueled arcade? A pop-up thrift store at the Beaches? Save for that last one, these proposals are highly questionable in terms of viability and have undergone no legitimate form of market research — and that’s OK. Entrepreneurialism isn’t defined by whether or not your arrow hits a well-propped target. Entrepreneurialism is defined by the creation of the bow that could shoot an arrow in the first place. So, have ideas, however crooked or absurd they may be, and bring them to life. Below are a few from my quiver that will probably make yours look genius. Load, pull back, aim and let ‘em rip.
Local Bagel Shop At the Beaches
Besides the ever-changing and often-rumored whereabouts of a mythical Chipotle, there is no greater food-related controversy facing the Beaches right now than the lack of a locally owned, go-to bagel shop. If your outlook on life has yet to be toasted by this unbuttered truth, perhaps this next thought will help reality sink in. This year will be the first Players, in what I am going to say is almost two decades, that both residents and visitors will not be able to stop during the painstaking trek to Sawgrass and procure their hangover-reducing, day-commencing bagel sandwich from the late and great Bagel World. Our most effective pre-emptive strike against the five-day drinking experience that is The Players (and the 93-day drinking experience that is summer) has been taken from us without any proper substitute or replacement. Of course, if you enjoy 3D printed bagels and typically horrid frozen coffee beverages, you can swing into your local Generic Bagel Chain, LLC. I don’t mean to be bitter about accessible breakfast foods, but someone needs to put the city on their back and take advantage of this easy entry to market. Breathe if you feel me. #BagelGalaxy
Arcade Bar
An arcade bar. I’m talking Dance Dance Revolution, Street Fighter, Time Crisis 3, ‘90s sci-fi movie-themed pinball machines and enough skee-ball lanes to leave the International Skee-Ball Association with no choice but to consider the venue as the official location of the 2018 Olympic Skee-Ball Championships. Outlandish skee-ball fantasies aside, this place could be lit AF — free drinks for high scores, game tournaments on a nightly basis, psychedelic private parties, a difficult-to-access membership program — all that good stuff. Picture it is as a 21-and-up Dave & Busters with remarkably low lighting, few to no rules and a fleeky sound system looping a playlist that alternates between J KWON’s 1990 hit, “Tipsy” and Kevin Gates’ 2014 hit, “I Don’t Get Tired.”
Thrift/Second-hand Store
I love Goodwill. I love it for sense of time travel that comes with sifting through each outdated isle, their extremely tepid, non-salesy customer service and the unprecedented amount of throwback Jaguars apparel one may acquire on any random visit. However, what might make it most easy to love is that you can walk in there, knowing that you’re 99 percent likely to be able to afford anything that catches your interest. There’re not a lot of stores that can provide someone in a young person’s tax bracket with that feeling. It’s awesome. With summer approaching and that in mind, it could be cool for someone to set up a thrift pop-up with a niche focus on what is actually in demand around the beach, like used, but fair condition, beach cruisers, old-school swimwear, hella Hawaiian shirts, party-era sunglasses, random party devices and all the goofy shit that summer-goers around the beach can put to use through the season’s parties and events without having to break the bank. In one full week, you could hit nearly every thrift store in town (and Craigslist) round up all the goods and be making sales out of your garage come Sunday. You could call it “Hoodwill.”
