2014 has been a year where the term “basic” is referred to anything that is trending. Pop culture has created the “Basic B****,” a girl who has no identity of her own and spends way too much money on pumpkin spice lattes. With Halloween right around the corner, basic girls will most likely all be dressed the same. Do yourself a favor and don’t dress as “Elsa” from Frozen, or Nikki Minaj in her Anaconda music video. Instead, do something against the 2014 norm and turn heads this Halloween. Consider this your Halloween intervention.
1. Overexcited SoulCycle Instructor
You’ll need: Workout gear with DIY SoulCycle Logos, an annoying peppy ponytail, something to “hydrate” (aka, a drink), painted-on abs and super positive vibes.
2. Lost Uber Driver
You’ll need: A suit, bottled water, homemade Uber sign and general ability to meet at the appointed time and place.
3. Pumpkin Spice Condom
You’ll need: An orange body suit, stapled together pieces of posterboard featuring your hand-drawn logo, and a Pumpkin Spice Latte and mini-gourd to really explain the outfit.
4. Unemployed Dov Charney
You’ll need: DIY’ed “Legalize Me” tee, athletic sock hobo bindle, perv ‘stache, glasses and a general air of dejection.
5. Belfie Queen
You’ll need: The kind of butt that only comes with a dedication to deep squats (or plenty of padding), glam-girl gym gear, and the ability to take an over-shoulder mirror butt selfie while serving fierce face.
6. Bottle Service Babe
You’ll need: The best freakum dress $30 can buy, platform heels, an arm full of club wristbands, a deep love of YouTube contouring videos and a vodka cram. Bonus points for pretending you’re a Kardashian kousin, not just a klone.
7. Miley Cyrus, Artiste
You’ll need: As many crazy-crafty bits, bobs, toys, and trimmings as you can possibly carry out of the Dollar Tree, a bodysuit and some hot glue.